The Tapestry

I’ve seen your bravery, and I will follow you there. -Joanna Newsom, “Emily” Next, I’ll take a look at how an aspiring absolute ruler, by all measures of practicality, can use the power of friendship to defeat the forces of evil. Most of what I describe can also apply to whatever similar aims you might have, so if you’re not a fan of my fanatical grandstanding on absolutism’s behalf, this one’s pretty light on all of that. It’s a lost art. Contemporary success stories construe friendship more as incidental rather than instrumental. What’s more, we witness cautionary tales of ambition tearing old friends apart, leaving both in regretful isolation at the peak of their careers. It’s lonely at the top. I think we can chalk this one up to another aphorism, along with the rest of those similar ailments: Things ain’t like they used to be. As for the causes of societal decay, I’ll leave that topic of debate up to those more well-studied. But if there’s one suc...

I live in San Francisco. Some group of people here who apparently possess the legislative authority to do so decided to Ban Vape. This piece of legislation is known as the Vape Ban. Why? When does it go into effect? What are they banning—cartridges, the electric bit, all of it? Can people still buy them elsewhere and bring them back, or buy them online and have whatever’s banned shipped to their home? Is Juul still allowed to have their big, shiny vape-selling coordination mechanism known as a “Headquarters” downtown? I’m sure there are answers if you look into it. Another group of people apparently did look into it, and they decided it would be best to Repeal the Vape Ban, and to do this, they’ve took it upon themselves to recruit as much support in the effort as possible. The lynchpin of the whole operation is canvassing the entire city with their demands for a Repeal. Okay. How do we all help you with this? Is there a referendum or something? The Repeal is suppo...

There are far fewer ways an absolute ruler can properly assume sovereignty than in governments of distributed political power. If you’re looking for a systemic reason to like absolutism, I think this is it: That ruler untangles the web of hierarchy and obligation, formal and informal, and sets it anew starting from himself. There are countless examples in history of complex systems of aristocratic and literate elite castes crashing and burning upon encountering external pressures. But really—it’s just better, isn’t it? I don’t want to be ruled by a bunch of nerds and rich people. I want a king. At the end of the day, every single person within a state must reckon with who’s in charge and what that means for them. The commoner doesn’t have time for nuance in this, and any uncertainty is bound to afflict him with fear and doubt. For the elite, it’s a siren’s call, and the temptation will tear at his soul. That being said, let’s take a look at the ways I see an ab...

When I sat down to write, I fully intended to formulate a general description of how an absolute ruler assumes sovereignty. That will come next. Instead, below are my musings on what the next one might be like, how his vision might come to him, and how he might fulfill it. Forgive the overwrought prose at the beginning and the dry martial conjecture at the end. Kingdoms stretch across the expanse of the written word. The mythos of ascendant kings sparked life into the most prolific, enduring, and beautiful of the literary traditions. If you care to uncover the origins of a golden era of storytelling, you will almost always find the good rule of a good ruler at its heart—and lamentation of the loss of another at its end. In worlds real and made real in art, of days past and yet to come, the kingdom stands as a transcendent monument to its people, land, and rulers. Their names and stories weave threads of order, harmony, and glory into the tapestry of mankind’s e...

My previous post, a “Creed” describing some of the characteristics of an absolute sovereign, was received with bewilderment and some distaste. In hindsight, that makes complete sense. You could say I was trying to channel ancient spirits with powerful, old evocations, and I wouldn’t entirely disagree--“He Was Good King” is the only recognizable sentence in Beowulf . Such magics are bizarre and futile from an outsider’s perspective. Allow me to explain. Absolute rule requires a ruler, so any sincere discussion of it requires faith. You have to believe that there is such a person of such unshakeable gall as to confer sovereignty onto himself. It seems this particular flavor of literal self-aggrandizement is generally perceived as boorish, passé, and unspeakably taboo. Even in the most reactionary circles, absolutism is proposed tepidly with appeals to “tradition” and “the security of the people.” Well, it’s not up to you or any of that. If such a person exists, they’ll at...

I. Many Kings Past sought sources of power outside of Themselves: God, Royal lineage, law and order. II. I require no such outside source. III. My source of power is absolute. IV. My source of power is My Royal Form, for I am a True King. V. There were other True Kings before me, but Their names and legacies are so ancient as to render their Form indistinct from lesser Kings. VI. I bestow upon My subjects the following description of My Royal Form not as justification for My reign, but a most just and prudent instruction as to render Myself comprehensible. VII. I bear the lash before striking the dog. VIII. First, My Sovereignty springs forth directly from My power and is thus absolute. IX. I share My Sovereignty with no one. X. My subjects do or do not as I wish. XI. All activity within My Kingdom occurs at My behest, and such activities which I do not wish to occur, do not. XII. Royal authority is carried out through direct command with Myself as the point of origin. ...